Truth In Love: Loving People Without Affirming Sin
In a world increasingly governed by personal autonomy and emotional affirmation, the Christian understanding of love is both countercultural and crucial. Today, the word love is often equated with unqualified acceptance—never questioning someone’s choices, identity, or worldview. To challenge someone’s beliefs or lifestyle, particularly in areas of morality or sexuality, is seen not as loving correction but as hate speech or intolerance.
But biblically speaking, real love tells the truth—especially when the truth is hard to hear.
As Christians, we are called to embody the love of Christ. But Christlike love is not permissive; it is holy. It does not merely accept people as they are—it invites them to become what God created them to be. The Gospel message is not “You’re fine just as you are,” but “You are loved too much to stay that way.”
The Biblical Union of Love and Truth
Scripture presents a clear picture of love and truth walking hand in hand. In Ephesians 4:15, Paul exhorts the Church to “[speak] the truth in love,” that we might “grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ.” Here, truth and love are not in competition—they are complementary forces, both essential for Christian maturity.
Likewise, in 1 Corinthians 13:6, the Apostle Paul describes love in its highest form: “Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” Any so-called “love” that affirms what God has called sin is not biblical love at all. True love does not celebrate rebellion against God—it grieves over it and longs for redemption.
Genuine Christian love is inseparable from truth. To withhold the truth from someone ensnared in sin under the guise of “love” is not compassion but complicity. Love that affirms what God calls sin ceases to be love at all, for it divorces itself from the very nature of God, who is both love and truth. True love speaks not to wound, but to rescue—because only truth can lead to repentance, and only repentance leads to life.
This is not an abstract theological idea. It’s a practical, pastoral issue that affects how we interact with friends, family members, and the broader culture. What do we say when someone we love embraces a lifestyle or identity that contradicts God’s Word? How do we respond when affirming their choices feels easier—or even seems more loving—than challenging them?
Why Telling the Truth Is Love
Telling someone the truth about sin, even when it’s difficult, is the most loving thing we can do—because sin is deadly. It separates us from God and leads to destruction (Romans 6:23). To affirm someone in their sin is to cheer them on as they walk toward a cliff.
As Francis Schaeffer rightly said, “Truth carries with it confrontation. Truth demands confrontation; loving confrontation, but confrontation nevertheless.”¹ If we truly care about someone’s eternal soul, we will not stay silent when we see them walking in darkness. We will plead with them to turn to the light—not out of superiority or self-righteousness, but out of compassion.
The late John Stott, with characteristic clarity, put it this way: “Our love grows soft if it is not strengthened by truth, and our truth grows hard if it is not softened by love.”² Christians are not called to choose between truth and love; we are called to embody both, just as Christ did.
Jesus Himself perfectly modeled this balance. In John 8, when the woman caught in adultery is brought before Him, Jesus extends mercy: “Neither do I condemn you.” But He does not stop there. He continues, “Go, and sin no more” (John 8:11). His love did not excuse her sin—it called her to leave it behind.
This encounter illustrates the nature of divine love: it meets us where we are, but it never leaves us there. Jesus loved her by telling her the truth. He saw her potential, not just her past. He refused both condemnation and compromise, offering instead a path to transformation.
The Danger of Affirming Sin
There is a growing movement, even within parts of the Church, that suggests we can love people better by affirming their sin or identities contrary to Scripture—whether in areas of sexual orientation, gender identity, or moral lifestyle. But affirming sin is not love. It is spiritual malpractice.
This kind of “love” may feel emotionally satisfying in the moment, but it is eternally dangerous. It communicates, however unintentionally, that God’s commands are optional and that His holiness can be set aside for the sake of emotional peace. Yet the call of Christ is not comfort, but crucifixion of self (Luke 9:23). Love cannot be divorced from the call to repentance.
The great Christian apologist C.S. Lewis once observed:
“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”³
That "ultimate good" is conformity to Christ, not conformity to culture. When we prioritize avoiding offense over proclaiming truth, we cease to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13–16). We become enablers of deception rather than messengers of redemption.
Love with Conviction, Not Compromise
Real love means entering difficult conversations. It means risking discomfort, misunderstanding, or even rejection for the sake of someone’s soul. It means calling sin what it is—not because we think we’re better, but because we know there’s a better way.
This kind of love is only possible when we are grounded in the truth of God’s Word. It requires humility, gentleness, and deep spiritual dependence. As Paul reminds Timothy, “The Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 2:24–25).
Note what Paul says: our correction should be gentle—but it should still be correction. There is no love in ignoring error, just as there is no wisdom in downplaying sin.
The Goal: Repentance and Life
Ultimately, we speak truth not to shame, but to save. The goal is never to win arguments or prove moral superiority. It is to call people to repentance, which is the only path to real and lasting joy. Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Love that hides the truth keeps people in chains. Love that shares the truth offers them freedom.
The Gospel is the perfect example: it begins with the truth that we are sinners, incapable of saving ourselves. But it ends with the love of God, who sent His Son to die in our place. If we omit the truth of sin, the love of the cross makes no sense. If we proclaim the love of God without the truth of judgment, we strip the Gospel of its power.
So let us be people who do not shrink from telling the truth. Let us love boldly, even when the world calls it hate. Let us speak with grace and clarity, remembering that the most loving thing we can ever say is: “Turn to Christ. Leave your sin. Find life.”
Because real love tells the truth—and truth is the only road to redemption.
Footnotes
Francis A. Schaeffer, The Great Evangelical Disaster (Westchester, IL: Crossway Books, 1984), 64.
John Stott, Balanced Christianity (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1975), 21.
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves (New York: Harcourt, 1960), 120.